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This is why I don't let my mom read things I've written

The billboards advertising an adult bookstore in Knoxville were what dragged Otis out of his funk.


“We'll have to stop there on the way back,” Otis said. “It's too hard to look at porn on a laptop when you're sitting on the shitter.”


“They'll probably quit making porno mags in a few years. The internet is running them out of business.”


“Bullshit, porn will never die. The porn industry is always an early adopter of new technology. Look at Beta vs. VHS. If porn would have jumped on the Beta train, nobody today would know what VHS was.”


“Most people don't remember VHS now,” I said. “You're probably right though. Somebody made a zero gravity porno on the vomit comet a few years ago. I think if someone invented a time machine, someone else would make a porno with it a couple weeks later.”


“I don't know about a porno but someone would definitely use it for sex. You know there's a scientist working on a time machine right now, not even realizing his colleague is fantasizing about traveling back in time and tapping all kinds of ass with it as soon as it's finished.”