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DanSchwent

Dantastic Book Reviews

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I've Fallen and There's a Tentacle in My Butt

I've Fallen and there's a Tentacle in My Butt - Edward Naughty

A naive 20 year old girl named Jenny encounters a poorly-described tentacle monster who wants to penetrate her orifices.

I'm not a monster porn aficionado by any means. This is only the third or fourth one I've read. However, either I've been fortunate thus far and have only encountered some of the better written monsterotica or this one is just bad, even by monster porn standards. Maybe the fault is mine. Maybe I'm expecting too much from free monster porn. I can't deny that the writing is sub-par and the story is weak, even with my limited monster porn experience.

The writing bothers me even more than the implausible things like a woman wearing a bikini to a lab and people having sex while there's a monster on the loose. It reads like a 14 year old boy whose only exposure to sex has been internet porn and Penthouse Forum wrote it.

It's no wonder people use pseudonyms when they churn these things out. Imagine the conversations with co-workers would go.

"Hey, Bill, I heard you put out a story on the kindle. What's it about?"
"Well, there's some scientists experimenting on this tentacle creature..."
"Cool. Does it escape the lab and go on a rampage?"
"No, mostly it just fucks people."
"Oh. Look at the time! I think I have a meeting to go to..."

1.5 stars. I think my monster porn days are done. Unless someone finds a free one with a robot or some sort of shark creature in it.